一：開頭

　　〔修正〕Hearing the bad news， the young man couldn’t help crying.

　　二：經過

　　1、在整篇文章中，避免只使用一兩個句式，要靈活運用諸如倒裝句、強調句、主從復合句、分詞狀語等。

　?、購娬{句

　　〔原文〕I met him in the street yesterday.

　　〔修正〕It was in the street that I met him yesterday.

　　It was yesterday that I met him in the street.

　　②由with或without引導的短語。如:

　　He sat in a chair with a newspaper in the hand.

　?、鄯衷~短語。如:

　　Satisfied with the result，He decided to go on with a new experiment.

　?、艿寡b句。如:

　　Only in this way can we achieve our goal.

　　Never before have I seen such a wonderful film.

　　Not only should we study in the college, but also learn how to be a decent person.

　?、菔÷跃洹Ｈ?

　　If so，victory will be ours.

　　You can make some changes wherever necessary.

　　2、通過分句和合句，增強句子的連貫性和表現力。

　　〔原文〕He stopped us half an hour ago. He made us catch the next offender.

　　〔修正〕He stopped us half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender.

　　〔原文〕We had a short rest. Then we began to play happily. We sang and danced.Some told stories. Some played chess.

　　〔修正〕After a short rest， we had great fun singing and dancing， telling jokes and playing chess.

　　注意使用不同長度的句子，要結合使用，不能只用短句或只用長句。

　　3、學會使用過渡詞。如:

　?、龠f進: then(然后)， besides(還有)， furthermore(而且)， moreover(此外)等。

　?、谵D折: however(然而)， but(但是)， on the contrary (相反)， after all(畢竟)等。

　?、劭偨Y: finally(最后)， at last(最后)， in brief(總之)， in conclusion(最后)等。

　?、軓娬{: indeed(確實)， certainly(一定)， surely(確定)， above all(尤其)等。

　　⑤對比: in the same way(同樣地)， just as(正如)， on the one hand…on the other hand(一方面……另一方面……)等。

　　相似的比較：

　　similarly, in the same manner

　　相反的比較：

　　on the other hand, conversely, whereas, while, instead, nevertheless, in contrast, on the contrary, compared with …,

　　4、注意使用詞組、習語來代替一些單詞，以增加文采。如:

　　〔原文〕A new railway is being built in my hometown.

　　〔修正〕A new railway is under construction in my hometown.

　　5、避免重復使用某一單詞或短語。如:

　　〔原文〕I like reading while my brother likes watching television.

　　〔修正〕I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television.

　　I like reading while watching television appeals to my brother.

　　三、 結尾

　　1、 All in all, what really matters is, in fact, that……(比如說到和諧社會 All in all, what really matters is, in fact, that we should build our society a harmonious society.)

　　2、 Therefore, it’s not difficult to draw a conclusion that……

　　3、 As a result , we should take effective measures to do sth.(我們必須采取一些有效的措施來做些什么)

　　4、 From what has been discussed above , we may conclude that ……

　　5、 Obviously(此為過渡短語), we can draw the conclusion that good manners arise from politeness and respect for others.

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